Most part of us want to be closer to the open, simple and heartful people. We wish we could be like them. Yet it’s easy to see, that in the world where people are dictated about what should be their weight and how should their house look like, being oneself is the brave and courageous act.
Accounting the difficulty of the task we’ve put: not to cheat on ourselves in the world which makes us to adjust and be like the others; we figured out the definition of “naturalness”. What is the anatomy of this naturalness? What are the ingredients our real “self” consists of? Here’s what we’ve got:
Being natural – is to forget about what others think about oneself and to accept one’s personality every single day.
To choose being natural means to:
- get the courage to be imperfect and vulnerable;
- develop your internal feeling of compassion, based on the statement that everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages;
- to treat the intimacy and the sense of belonging carefully, as these feelings appear only if one believes to deserve them.
Naturalness wants you to live in a way our heart tells, to love yourself even when there are hard times; when you struggle against your shame; when you’re afraid of being “not good enough”; and, especially, when you’re so fulfilled with happiness that you fear to let it have your soul completely captured.
Practicing naturalness on purpose when our mind is full of “heavy” emotions and seeks, we let joy enter our life.
It is not an easy thing to remain yourself. The battle for naturalness is the most difficult battle for every human.
When humans decide to always remain true to themselves, people around seriously try to understand how and why the person changes. Loved ones, parents or children are afraid of changes they notice in a person they thought to know well. Friends and family members are worried about how this decision could influence them. Someone finds their source of inspiration in such changes, others start feeling themselves abandoned, or they might find unpleasant seeing their own reflection in a person that decided to change, just like in a mirror.
It is not naturalness what brings danger to the existing way of things being set up. This activity could be called as DARING to remain yourself. Numerous people start feeling shame when others percept them as self-concentrated egoists. People who decided to change themselves and to be natural, start worrying about their naturalness to be treated as narcissism.
The problem is that being yourself is not a safe choice. When you stop worrying about what the others think, you take some serious risks. You leave your comfort zone. And when one walks through the unknown territory, it’s easy for them to get lost.
Attacks and critics on those who risk to tell about unpopular ideas or to present any new work to the world, or on those who simply try something they aren’t good at yet are quite common. Anger is the simplest, the lowest and the most uncontrollable reaction. Additionally, if one criticizes or insults the other person anonymously – it’s total cowardice.
When you try to be brave and true to yourself, it’s important to keep in mind that criticism always hurts. Even if it doesn’t have anything to do with reality. Once you go not the way majority expects or aren’t afraid to demonstrate yourself and your works to the world, some people feel danger which comes from you. Then, they start striking the most hurtful things: appearance, relations with your loved ones or even with the other people.
What is the most difficult, is that when you’re able to completely ignore what others think and when you don’t feel pain at all, you are not able to build trustful relationships with anyone as well. Courage means being ready to open yourself to the world, not the total immunity to the criticism. If you still want to have trustful relationships with the others, it is worth risking to remain sensitive.
Is it Easy? No
If you’re someone like the most part of the article’s authors, it won’t be easy for you to be natural. It’s dangerous to open your soul to the world. But we’re sure, that it is even more risky to cover yourself and your talents from it. Unexpressed opinions, unshared ideas, unmade efforts – they all remain with you. They plague you, they eat you from the inside.
It is not fine to sacrifice yourself to a public opinion. Yes, you may hurt someone when you forget about what they think, but in the end, being yourself is the best gift you can give to your loved ones. Once you stop trying to please everyone, you get a lot more time, attention, and love for your family and friends.